As a principal there is a verse from James that we would all do well to live by.
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;”
James 1:19 ESV
http://bible.com/59/jas.1.19.esv
Why this verse you ask? Well, if you have spent any length of time as an administrator, you have heard your share of excuses and lies for student behavior.
How do you keep yourself from spouting off something insulting or degrading that you will regret later? Here are a few statements I use.
The slow to anger part is usually easy for me, but there are some cases in which it is extremely challenging for me. That especially holds true when I see a young man mistreating a young lady. In those situations I often find myself having to step back and not react as a father would, but instead to remember I am also charged with looking out for the offending student, too.
These same struggles can arise with parents. How do you handle the parent that cusses like a sailor of you call before 10:30 in the morning, but is perfectly calm later in the day? Simple, don't call before 10:30.
What if this parent is upset about what another student has done to her child? What if she wants to know what you are going to do to the other kid or the teacher? In this case, let the parent know you are upset about it too. Let them know you will get to the bottom of it and discipline as necessary. Whatever you do, don't tell them how you are going to discipline the other student or the teacher for that matter. To do so would violate FERPA and workplace privacy laws.
No matter what, remember the first thing that comes to mind isn't always the best way to maintain relationships. Sometimes it is better to just say nothing at all. Sometimes we need to remember what the late Keith Whitley said (though taken slightly out of context).
"You say it best, when you say nothing at all."
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;”
James 1:19 ESV
http://bible.com/59/jas.1.19.esv
Why this verse you ask? Well, if you have spent any length of time as an administrator, you have heard your share of excuses and lies for student behavior.
How do you keep yourself from spouting off something insulting or degrading that you will regret later? Here are a few statements I use.
- "Would you tell me again, I am trying to make sure I have it all in the right order."
- "Would you repeat that so I can make sure my notes are correct?"
- Say nothing and make it look like you are thinking of what to say. This often results in them feeling uncomfortable and giving more information.
- "What will I see when I watch the video playback?"
- "I have information from another source that doesn't match everything you told me. Is there anything you would like to add to your story?"
The slow to anger part is usually easy for me, but there are some cases in which it is extremely challenging for me. That especially holds true when I see a young man mistreating a young lady. In those situations I often find myself having to step back and not react as a father would, but instead to remember I am also charged with looking out for the offending student, too.
These same struggles can arise with parents. How do you handle the parent that cusses like a sailor of you call before 10:30 in the morning, but is perfectly calm later in the day? Simple, don't call before 10:30.
What if this parent is upset about what another student has done to her child? What if she wants to know what you are going to do to the other kid or the teacher? In this case, let the parent know you are upset about it too. Let them know you will get to the bottom of it and discipline as necessary. Whatever you do, don't tell them how you are going to discipline the other student or the teacher for that matter. To do so would violate FERPA and workplace privacy laws.
No matter what, remember the first thing that comes to mind isn't always the best way to maintain relationships. Sometimes it is better to just say nothing at all. Sometimes we need to remember what the late Keith Whitley said (though taken slightly out of context).
"You say it best, when you say nothing at all."
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